Jon’s Son Hugged Will for 90 Seconds and Wouldn’t Let Go. That’s the Whole Episode.

This one is different. No expert guest. No framework. No research. Just three guys on a couch in Colorado Springs, two days after running a Spartan 10K through mud and wind and heat, trying to put into words what happened when they actually showed up for each other.

Jon is in Colorado Springs. Will is in New York City. David Valadez — returning MTM guest, business advisor to the show, and the kind of man who left a stable corporate operations career at Convergint in 2018 to build something more intentional — is somewhere between Seattle and San Diego depending on the week. Most of what connects them happens on a screen. This weekend, it happened on a mountain.

Mile Two

David didn’t train for the Spartan race. He’ll tell you that himself. At mile two — hills, heat, barbed wire, obstacles stretching 7 miles ahead — he had one very clear thought: he would not finish without these guys.

Nobody shamed him. Nobody had to. What kept all three of them going wasn’t obligation or performance. It was something simpler and harder to name: I don’t want to let these guys down. Every wall and climb was a reminder that we are stronger together than we will ever be alone. When one man hit a wall, another was right there — a hand, a word, or just a look that said I’ve got you. That simple act of support turned a brutal race into a shared memory none of them will forget.

There was also a couple on the course — each of them missing one arm, opposite sides — helping each other through every obstacle. One had a rubber novelty arm and was throwing it over walls ahead and giving strangers high fives with it. Jon wasn’t quitting when they weren’t quitting.

What Co-Regulation Actually Looks Like

Jon’s wife noticed a change in him the moment Will and David arrived — lighter, more present, more himself. She didn’t need an explanation. That’s co-regulation. When you’re around people who regulate you upward, your nervous system doesn’t have to work as hard to hold itself together. The armor comes down.

Jon gave Will two hugs when he walked in the door. One at arrival. One a little later, after Jon had said something he regretted over text and Will let it go in person in a way it never would have resolved on a screen. Being in the same room dissolves what a call can’t.

Dan Carcillo and the Room That Opened in Five Minutes

On day two, they drove to Golden to visit Dan Carcillo — two-time NHL Stanley Cup champion who took multiple concussions playing hockey and found his own healing through plant medicine, and now runs Experience Onward, a psilocybin retreat center for people who need a different kind of recovery. Two men who had just come through the ceremony were there. Big, physically imposing guys. The kind you might not approach on the street.

Within five minutes of sitting down together, they were sharing things most men don’t say in years of knowing each other. Nobody had to build up to it. The safe space was already there — created by the work, by the weekend, by just being in the room with other men who were also trying to become better.

Your First Step

If you’ve been isolating — and men often do — the first step doesn’t have to be a Spartan race or a plant medicine retreat. Call the friend you haven’t spoken to in 10 years. He wants to hear from you more than you think. From there, do something hard together. A hike, a run, building something. Something that wakes up the part of you that knows you’re stronger in a group than you are alone.

Jon’s youngest son hugged Will for a minute and a half and wouldn’t let go. One weekend with these men, and you could see a spark in that kid’s eyes. That’s not a small thing. That’s the ripple effect — community pays dividends not just for the men in the room but for everyone in their lives.

We are stronger together. This weekend proved it. More in-person MTM events are coming. Start here: focusnowtraining.com/a2a

Stay present,
Jon & Will

More about David Valadez

David Valadez is a returning MTM guest, business advisor to the show, investor, and partner across multiple ventures and startups. In 2018 he left a corporate operations career — including senior roles at Convergint — to focus on investing in and advising growth-stage companies. Former VP of Operations at Dedicated Athletes and Legerity Sports Performance, and a Partner at Kitsap Olhava Management.
Connect with David Valadez on LinkedIn
Dan Carcillo — Experience Onward: experienceonward.org

Listen & connect

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and mentalkingmindfulness.com.

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Co-produced by Robert Lopez | cratesaudio.com